freak

Imma a fucking failure, i never touch much of my books this week *slaps myself* this is so damn horrible, mid-terms are in 3 weeks alright ?! yeah, and i dont have the time to squeeze everything in my head within this short period of time. i got the only solution, is to study every sec non-stop, but how can i do that? im always tired after school, is it becuz of schooling which makes me tired due to waking up in the morning or, im suffering insufficient of vitamins ? HELP ME !

i onlined the entire day practically (thatsucks!) imma hopeless shit ! forget it, i shall wake up early in the morning tomorrow and study non-stop ! i swear i will, i know im determined.

chatting on msn as usual, internet sucked as usual, but the unusual thing is, problems appeared so instantly, i can hardly take it.

WTF, my dad claimed that my chemistry papers file, which im reading then daily, was a tool for me to sleep with ! i couldnt take it anymore, no one will STILL ever know me, even my parents themselves. i put my efforts into studies but no one will even give a DAMN. *tears flow*

later i gossiped, knew lotsa dirty little secrets ! shocking and unbelievable ! no i cant accept them ! although its non of my business like, AT ALL :P

my mood is effing bad tonight. i know i suck, i know im sensitive ! but its not up to my control, it is me, im sorry for being doubtful bcuz youre just too charming to me, im really scare distance will take over our relationship one day. im really afraid when pn tong said that when we leave high school everyone will go their own different way T.T can i change the fact? nothing will ever force me to let you go no matter what.

i know i make you sad most of the time due to my sensitivity, it changes you 180 degrees. dont tell me its your own problems, nothing will make you sad, im the only one. im suck enough to tear your smile off your sweet and cheerful face. i bring you burden, it makes you turning yourself into the unusual you. the biggest problem is that, i get even sad when youre sad. wtf am i thinking? i make you sad and then i get sad again. (fuck) stupid shit man, im USELESS ! my heart aches whenever i know that youre down, literally ! the pain forces tears to flow down my eyes, what should i do to cheer you up again.

i hate so much being imperfect, i hate my life full of obstacles and frustrations which stalks my nature characteristics, but im aint giving up on my life, i got the confidence to build the sand castle up again whenever the sea water destroys it again and again. i will never give up. god bless me.

the Script's Breakeven boosts up my emotions, is it a good or bad thing?


-pearly-