After thoughts @ throughout the month of May

Its close to the end of may. fuh~ so many things happened i guess. conflicts, depressions, tears and all. family, relationship, and the most effing one --- STUDIES.

gosh im sooo damn tired of all of these. just imagine, how does it feel like when every probs that you have to take into your thoughts come squeezing into your mind at a single time? i just feel like blasting off, bursting out ! i hate studies, sucks man. to get an A, i might have to spend more than 3 hours of my time with the books a day like, daily, omg ! so boring, a resemblance or working as a robot. last tuesday night right before biology paper, i was up writing all the tips given and trying hard to memorise them. GEEZ !! and guess what, i never close my eyes for the whole night until i sat for the paper. my first time weh, i was so scared that i will faint but i finally made it through the day. damn, the biology paper 2 questions are so boring that i could fall asleep while doing it halfway, nah im not boasting, i was just creating my own biology theory 8D same goes to physics, muahahah.

add maths and maths was a total failure, im stuck in every questions of the paper and just hoping to dig out part of the marks from the questions. as for maths, i just forgotten to do one full question ! its weird that i never find that page in my question paper. strange !! ive given up -.- chemistry next week, my favourite subject at the moment :) i hope i will score well and make use of my tuition notes and teachings, and also, not to let my beloved pn low down, although i rarely listen to her teachings, haha.

Relationships, its all about toleration, loyalty, patience and trust. any lacking of one of these aspects may put on a full stop on a love story. i never tolerate, im too ego, and ive learnt. i hope i dont ruin any of the aftertaste that we've enjoyed together. besides, we need time for any corrections, aight? stay strong people, dont break a heart.

I can nearly understand a child's feeling when i see someone shows some physically unusual behaviours, do they need more attention? should we listen more to the fillings of their little hearts? i just dont want the tiny prob to be enlarged with time.

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aiks, im tired, but still playing computer here. "Arent you scared that tomorrow will be an extra tired day to study? you should control more of yourself," thats what my heart told me. i replied: "Well, maybe just a few glance on my facebook profile, some musics and a post or two for my blog will do right? :P "

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last but not least,

HAPPY WESAK DAY !

lets offer good deeds throughout our lives !

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I must work harder for life and a brighter future, i must appreciate everyone beside me, everyone i connect my minds with everyday. good luck everybody! and also all the best to me, and you ♥

-pearly-

Tension

Whoa whoa WHOA !!!!! mid term tests are just around the very corner ! im felt so stressed handling all the accumulated works and revisions from my thick books and all :( its just next week and i havent get things settled properly yet. i need more support from my girls and dear now.

this is just a short post before i stop online for like, 3 weeks. ive got the chance to sneak into the internet while im charging my mp3 now, which it will help me release part of my stress by enjoying my favouite muics :) thanks, mp3 :P

Good luck to all in your exams, especially the selangor students :) FIGHTING!


-pearly-

Mother's day eveeeee

Its mother's day eve and i was staying at home like a practical good girl :P never join the guys for everyone's beloved IpMan, but luckily i didnt, cuz my voice sounded damn awful, or as for an example, toad? D; eww i hate it, especially when i cant shout out loud well at home :O

so, ive been thinking of a plan to surprise my mum but remain idealess. later i came up with a baking plan and asked friends to join me but its too late to prepare all the stuffs i such a rush so i decided to bake myself at home instead. and since this is the first time im learning to bake, i decided to tell my mum about it, so that she can guide me along while im on progress, but the thing is that, shes not allowed to touch any of the ingredients or utensils, cuz shes not suppose to :P therefore this plan is not really a surprise after all.

credits to big sis for fetching me to get the ingredients bought. everything's a mess when i started with the biscuits crumbs, cheese, and butter. got some on the floor too :O but overall was okay, the steps are many but simple. i took 2 hours and 45 mins to finish up everything. sweat a little cuz i never turn on the fan as im afraid the wind will blow off the powder stuff everywhere @@

when its done i cleaned and washed up everything in the sink and table all by myself. what a tough thing to do, especially when im having a bad headache and flu ! arghhh god, my sore throat nightmare had just ended alright ?! and now these two again -.- what a luck. im kinda afraid of h1n1 though :O CHOI ! i wont get it @@

the funny part is, i cant smell anything fom the oven after i had placed the tray in for a while :O but later, i realised that mum had actually turned on he wrong temperature ! aduh, no wonder theres no smell of the cake ! xD

later, we can finally smell the fregrance ! but well actually not me, my flu is preventing from smelling anything D;

i can hear my mum kept on saying that the cake smells good and cant wait to try it :) really glad to see her eagerness to try it~

i ate my lunch at 6pm and i was soo hungry that i finished up the whole chicken porrige in the pot, including kim's share D; poor sis LOL, anyway this taught her a lesson not to play the lappy till abandon her empty stomach. later then i ate my black glutinous rice dessert as well, yummy ! and now i had no appetite for dinner. plus, with my stucked nose, i cant taste anything, its meaningless to eat after all >:(

Was actually going for badminton with dad but i turned him down reluctantly as im not feeling well and i havent study a thing today as ive promised myself before. should i stay up late at night, enuring the sickness and study ? i guess so.

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pics to share;

in the oven (peeked with my torchlight)

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done ! i wish i could cover the top part with icing or whip cream or something :\

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dessert from 记得食 @ KepongBaru. long time no eat !

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-pearly-

Tokio Hotel !!!!!!!!!!

I was nerding around in my room, targeting to study for 8 hours but all of a sudden kim came knocking on the door (well she knocked cuz i locked and she couldnt open the door) and asked if i wanna go to watch TH's concert in OU. i jumped like siau and went blur, and answered: OF COURSE ! she contacted her friend ailynn to ask her cousin to reserve one for me. WOOTS!

BUT BUT BUT how bout my 8-hour study plan ?! habis lo, will try again tomorrow @@

went there and queue up, damn long queue i tell you, but we're not at the back. and later realised that ailynn's cousin actually has 2 more extra tickets @@ but its too late to ask anyone to go so yeah, wasted !

waited in the crowded and stuffy environment with stupid people pushing around. i pushed them back and act stupid as well -.- siau man. then the dj-s kept on playing ClubHitz, for like, 3 hours ?! omg wait till many people pointed middle finger @@

at last they appeared ! FINALLY ! woots woots woots, damn HOT !! i was screaming like mad, with the stupid girl covering her ears in front of me, but who cares?! x) i screamed even more for her (lalala) :P the section where i stood there're these hot people who shakes and waves, fun !

TH only sang for an hour, ended with the song Monsoon ! my favourite ! finally i can sing with them x) but they sang in German version, i sang in Engish -.-

i love tokio hotel ! they will be coming back to Malaysia in the future ! support you guys !

there're four of them in this pic ! ♥

love this, Bill's solo shot

thats me -.- after being caught in the rain, half-drank water by Bill ♥ and sweat !

p/s: credits to Azizul for the pictures !
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-pearly-

050210, 1229

Labours' Day

Yo its saturday and coincidently its labours' day, lucky for those who have tuitions today, enjoy your break guys x)

ok so im suppose to study today, the only day without a single plan or tuitions. mr peeter asked us to study 8 hours today, well not consecutively of course. woots what a bigg plan :) can i make it? i hope so. after blogging imma go and break my record !

line sucked like shit today, i cant get to upload pics onto my AmericanIdol post :( bored man, somemore hitz.fm's musics sucked too, so as facebook! my girls are offline :(

i guess imma start working out now ! wish me luck people :)

p/s: when will i start off with my add maths and accounts? im lazy to write :(


-pearly-

Sioban Magnus and American Idol

Siobhan from american idol! finally shes out LOL :X im stressful-no-more. she always said that shes happy to be compared to adam lambert with her irritating screaming voice. watch your words girl, its copy, not compare (grrr) i dont know why i have such prejudicial thoughts on here, geez.

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shes sweet .....

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shes pretty .....

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until ..........

she screams whenever she reaches the climax of her song like every single week again .....
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and again .....
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and again ..........

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and again ..........
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and again ..........

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and again ..........

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and again ! sick of it, stop copying my adam lambert please :P

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anyway, i love her hair so much !! who can get me this hair cut ?! :(

woots woots!

during Idol Gives Back week, the artistes i love ;

BEP! plus, awesome stage !
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Carrie Undewood

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Alicia Keys
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Elliot Yamin (♪ baby i will wait for you~)

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David Cook ! i gotta admit that this picture is not nice x( bad shooting skills !

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Tim is out during this week ! sad :'( (bcuz no more lengzai in this season anymore!)

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Orianthi ! :)

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this season's AmericanIdol is boring for me cuz no hotties and no favourite singing styles that i like :( sad ! and i can realise that the judges give negative judgements on the finalists' performances like, usually :(

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p/s: tonight's internet line is smooth ! awesome !!

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-pearly-

050210

Solved

i dont want this freaking mistake and misunderstanding to happy anymore !

im lucky enough to own a guy like you who gives into me and tolerates when we meet problems. ILY!!!!!
stay strong, never give up !


-pearly-

:(

im STUPID, im USELESS, i CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT .

i miss you so much in such a short while
i need xo


-pearly-

freak

Imma a fucking failure, i never touch much of my books this week *slaps myself* this is so damn horrible, mid-terms are in 3 weeks alright ?! yeah, and i dont have the time to squeeze everything in my head within this short period of time. i got the only solution, is to study every sec non-stop, but how can i do that? im always tired after school, is it becuz of schooling which makes me tired due to waking up in the morning or, im suffering insufficient of vitamins ? HELP ME !

i onlined the entire day practically (thatsucks!) imma hopeless shit ! forget it, i shall wake up early in the morning tomorrow and study non-stop ! i swear i will, i know im determined.

chatting on msn as usual, internet sucked as usual, but the unusual thing is, problems appeared so instantly, i can hardly take it.

WTF, my dad claimed that my chemistry papers file, which im reading then daily, was a tool for me to sleep with ! i couldnt take it anymore, no one will STILL ever know me, even my parents themselves. i put my efforts into studies but no one will even give a DAMN. *tears flow*

later i gossiped, knew lotsa dirty little secrets ! shocking and unbelievable ! no i cant accept them ! although its non of my business like, AT ALL :P

my mood is effing bad tonight. i know i suck, i know im sensitive ! but its not up to my control, it is me, im sorry for being doubtful bcuz youre just too charming to me, im really scare distance will take over our relationship one day. im really afraid when pn tong said that when we leave high school everyone will go their own different way T.T can i change the fact? nothing will ever force me to let you go no matter what.

i know i make you sad most of the time due to my sensitivity, it changes you 180 degrees. dont tell me its your own problems, nothing will make you sad, im the only one. im suck enough to tear your smile off your sweet and cheerful face. i bring you burden, it makes you turning yourself into the unusual you. the biggest problem is that, i get even sad when youre sad. wtf am i thinking? i make you sad and then i get sad again. (fuck) stupid shit man, im USELESS ! my heart aches whenever i know that youre down, literally ! the pain forces tears to flow down my eyes, what should i do to cheer you up again.

i hate so much being imperfect, i hate my life full of obstacles and frustrations which stalks my nature characteristics, but im aint giving up on my life, i got the confidence to build the sand castle up again whenever the sea water destroys it again and again. i will never give up. god bless me.

the Script's Breakeven boosts up my emotions, is it a good or bad thing?


-pearly-

Neutral Sunday

Today ive done nothing much, woke up quite early to online cuz last night's line sucked like hell. but today's wasnt any better though D; and i found that plurk was so boring cuz not much people's using this website, still facebook's the best ! ;) but the line's freaking lag ! i hate this like soo muchhhhh.

so, ive thought of downloading musics then :) thanks to dhivan and shien, i got tons of new musics here ! some are old ones, and also some are familiar ones that the lazy dj-s on radio stations never wanna mention the name (grrr), so yeah, gonna transfer them all into my mp3 after downloading ! weeeee ~

Tokio Hotel is smoking hot ! dont really have much comments about their physical outlooks but their musics are nice! well maybe two or three of them :P Monsoon and Automatic are the BEST! Bill Kaulitz's voice is sooo sexy and hottttt :D

here's the lyrics of Monsoon, damn romantic weih ! love it love it love it !

Tokio Hotel - Monsoon

I'm staring at a broken door
There's nothing left here anymore
My room is cold, it's making me insane
I've been waitin' here so long
Another moment seems to've come
I see the dark clouds comin' up again

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
Through the monsoon
Just me and you

A halfmoon fading from my sight
I see your vision in its light
But now it's gone and left me so alone
I know I have to find you now
Can hear your name,I don't know how
Why can't we make this darkness feel like home?

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon

Hey!
Hey!

I'm fighting all this power coming in my way
Let it take me straight to you,
I'll be running night and day
I'll be with you soon
Just me and you
We'll be there soon
So soon

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon
Through the monsoon
Just me and you
Through the monsoon
Just me and you ~

woot woot ! so pretty !!!!! LOL

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-pearly-

Awesome Saturday !

Today was really cool as i got the chance to relax like finally ! it had been a hectic and tiring week that ive been through, i slept only after 12am in each and everyday, felt tired right now even when i started thinking back of the routines progressed. but tell you what, its been really awesome, i started to love myself more for behaving this well :) plus i started to become a nerd again, dont feel like going shopping like, at all :O just the resemblance of the old Pearly :D i really hope that this nerdy characteristic can last till the end of this year before i take a deep breath and relax till the very max :) i love you Pearly, all the best !

this nerd's looking awful, but i dont think nerds are lifeless at all, at least they study :)

had a peek on my facebook profile, saw vincent's wall post which had tagged me and the mcd gang. guess what, he's leaving mcd bsd !! what a sad thing. he had been really a strict and dicipline manager who is really hyginic throughout our working periods, he taught us the most stuff which we had never learnt before in our life for 17 years, he had treated us like VIP crews each and every time, these may not been shown in his expressions but still, i gotta feeling ! and now that he's leaving, i felt that im gonna miss him really much all of a sudden. he thinks about us even when he's leaving, he called us the McD Family, he is actually still treating us as his own employees even when we had left work for months already. btw he had a rise on his post at mcd, a big congrats to him !!! cheers, for the best of luck in your future, mr. Vincent Chan. WE LOVE YOU.

Went to ou with dear today, damn fun woih ! i mean like really damn fun, hehehe relax sial. i wonder when's our next day out ? Our bond was created and will never be destroyed ;) i love you babe.

p/s: i cant spam facebook right now ! spammed on plurk instead ;) boring man, msn lags as well WTF. STREAMYX SUCKS !!!

Finally here's an update

Long time never moles my blog already LOL. nothing much happened these days. skippied classes, especially english periods to avoid the damn oral test, to help out with the my sport house to prepare for the sports day, which is successfully held today :) wow after the oral i did felt a big relief ! :O screw oral tests ! never studied the rest ofthe subjects at all, lazy shit man, kept wandering around daily like a... a... wonder ghost ? wtf, superb bad example to use (prays)

2 bad incidents had happened since last thursday. it was crazy, i created these problems practically, what a noobie. i have no idea of ways to solve these, tears kept on flowing non-stop, unlike the usual me at all -.- damn emo and stressed. no one can help me ? i guess its just the typical me, not getting use with helps of others to solve personal problems, cuz these are embarrassing. all i do is to hide myself alone in the stuffing-aired room, feeling warm, lonely, while facing the white walls helplessly. thats so damn awful, felt like its so damn hard to live on.

today was finally the day. school's yearly sports day. all houses are so energetic this year :) especially the seniors, maybe its bcuz its the last year for al of them? really placed full efforts into the mascots, marching routines and costumes for the marching crews. its really awesome, the arts room was packed with everyone and colourful paints around :D glad to see everything goes well till this very bigg day arrives ~

i joined the pbsm march, not everything was planned early, so it was kinda rush. i hate it when people doesnt cooperate and does things with a 'whatever' style, it pisses me off like eff. hate to work out with the mentally sick people who thinks they are effing big, i screamed at her while bursting out in anger, i was so satisfied ! but i know its stupid now when come to think of it, i dont have to be so aggresive anyway, our routine is not as complicated and facinating as the other teams who have coaches guiding them along day by day.

the sporty spirit had surrounded the stadium compound thoroughly. i never really watched he events as im enjoying my time with *toot*. though my mood was up and down, cuz 1 of my prob was still not settled yet D; gelisah sial.

back at home, ive finlly boosted up my guts till the max and did what should i did - to apologize to someone. and from these 2 big incidents ive learnt, is to not to be rude, immature and irrespect while speaking to parents and also to other people in our daily lives, and also to trust our love ones with our true heart no matter what happens, not to doubt or suspect anybody, which will surely ruin the relationship.

Parents and our Love ones are the greatest gifts that we got form God, must appreciate them every single second, not when youre leaving or losing them !

peace out people ! for the best of luck ~


-pearly-
iloveyoulahhottie!

Shares the melody

I listen to this song whenever im lonely or down or syok or something. David's just so awesome, and i love this song so much and non-stop playing it recently, although it doesnt seem to be new. i want a new album from you, David Cook !! always waiting ~

here is David Cook with Life On The Moon, enjoy (;

Here in this crowd I'm feeling all alone
Turn me around and point me back to home
I'm getting lost more everyday
And I can't tear myself away
From the stars in my eyes with no light
Here are my terms, have some faith in me
And I'll let you be who you need to be

chorus;
Life on the moon
couldn't be any stranger
Life on the moon
wouldn't feel this far away?
The life that I knew is trough
And I'm gonna need you more than ever
I'm alone in this crowded room
Its like life on the moon

Flown off the ground my head's up in the air
Self conscious to a fault with all the people everywhere
Is getting harder everynight to take the punches left and right
Just to know that you're here by my side
Here are my terms have some faith in me
And I'll let you be who you need to be

(repeat chorus)

Getting lost in my own atmosphere
Stars in the sky are the stars in my eyes
Is the cost of getting out of here alive

(repeat chorus)

Life on the moon..... Life on the moon.....
The life that I knew is through
And im gonna need you more than ever
Im alone in this crowded room
Its like life on the moon
Life on the moon .

im so lonely without you. i will try hard to help myself in getting up whenever i fall.
xoxo

Suckish Saturday

It was a nice saturday and the sun was right up in the sky shining its bright light proudly upon my ass. was about to wake up, going club to eat books with shien today.

i cant run away from the fact that im sick. you know what, its sooo impossible to avoid it once i felt my throat drying like hell. nothing can rehydrate it. i just dont understand ! and now i got slight flu, itchy throat, minor coughs and crazy headache, which made me shakes my head like this .....

Son Dam Bi in Are You Crazy (not that sexy though)

i went to bed straight after back at 6.30pm. slept till 1030pm. i know im lifeless, a weak shit. i recalled and felt disappointed of myself being a failure of persuading sejarah to enter my brain earlier in the afternoon. it sucks unlike the usual time-out with it. no one's able to help me (erm hello? god?) still, im slacking cuz my mid-term tests are on the middle of May, but my fellow friends are already felt uncomfortable on their chairs due to the REAL SPM tests on November. wth? i wish i could be like that, i love being anxious and nervous cuz it proves that i care and it means a thing to me. but it results in growing more ans MORE white hair. f that.

nevermind nevermind, chilll. i'll start my work again after my good good rest. what i can do now is only --- ONLINE -.-

i miss you, i need you right now. it's so weird that the moments that i need you the most are the times that's impossible that you'll be here for me. omg !

tomorrow got add math tuition OMG, the tuition class which i hated the most. i dont understand and i never bother to analyse the work which im suppose to finish in time. is it me being too lazy or, its the time that is passing so damn fast ?

im a total loser. i suck big time, like what rj said ( he's joking though) but thats the truth, the undeniable one. it all showned in mr suguz's bm class. he seemed to be prejudicial towards me? he asks me questions that i often fail to answer; he asks me meanings of words that are impossible for an idiot like me to speak out the resemblance of those words; he claims that i post photos up on facebook and seldom study which i never do, those photos are tagged by my friends ok! and before he left the class yesterday, he suddenly turned to me and showed me his expressless face and said: "lately youre quite sombong already huh, you seldom smile nowadays." i instantly got down after that, is he serious or joking? i cant differentiate anything between these two. i never mean this, i laugh in class when i have the feelings to, i know my face is looking stuck-up (hidung tinggi) when i never smiles. blame myself for having that noob face. or maybe its becuz of the frustrations im suffering from lately? I DONT KNOW! im afraid he might be giving up on a suckish student like me D; NOOO ! i am helpless.

its 2.51am now. its time and i should be lying on bed right now. i couldnt be thinking any much more for life. shall just beat it ! i must work even harder conquer my obstacles. can i learn kick boxing like Bernice Liu just to let out everything sad?

-pearly-

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April Fool !

As usual in school on april fool's day LOL. laughed like mad and all, aww how i love the crazy friends ;) may yee was like treating this day as her Valentine's day? cuz shed been confessing to anyone she saw in school to be her wife @@ wth ?! and for your information ive instantly became her so-called 7th wife. EWWW! xD

got pranked by friends with lotsa random ways, like: "Look! teacher's here!" *turn's head to the door* "HAHAHA APRIL FOOL!" gosh gonna faint already @@ but the worst is lotsa of us had eaten oreos which are coated with Darlie toothpste! WTF man, i thought she was kind and everyone's joking when they said we're eating those stuff. i only knew it was real on my way home X.X

anyway it was my first time got pranked seriously as that xD and its awesome!

i shall end here :P nothing much to talk about. oh yeah, imma run and jump more ! my little sis's been repeating that im shorter and shorter as time goes by D; WTF?!

btw;
minority ideas + narrow thoughts + inconsiderate manners towards all commitees = a leader that suck
the way you rule sucks big time. everyone thinks so! youre not the leader anyway, so please stfu.
*sorry for being rude, but shes just too much.*


-pearly-

040210, 1521

the Earth - hour Day

LOL! theres no other title to put so i placed that "earth hour day" on :X anyway today was nice, at least im not bored in the dark, went to alsafa with the buddies and dear, freaking horny and crappy man ! but i seriously loved it, enjoyed laughing with our mouths widely opened :OO hehehe. though im kinda sad when its time to go home D; my ass has stuck to the chair man !

some people are having even more frustrations than me, i should appreciate my life without any other doubts and messed-ups which is even more serious, i must treasure everything :) and to the emos, please cheer up ! i felt really bad as a buddy to see them in this situation and unable to help a thing. well i had advices with me anyway, its Free Of Charge so take it and make full use of it :) lets destroy the world of emoness together alright !!!

youre the only brand of drug that im consuming (loyal huh :P) and you had made the girl wild! you made me think of you every second everyday, having the urge within my heart to hug you, really felt uncomfortable without it, down and also suffers badly. gosh im mad, im really am :P youre also the only one who is able to make me so "exited" whenever im with you, whoa its really my first time a person will make me feel so extreme ! im always yours babe, always yours :DDILOVEYOUDEAR!!!

Btw i spotted a news of Miley Cyrus with her bf Liam Hemsworth on yahoo, had been dating for 10 months already, i guessed they filmed a movie of their love story named "The Last Song" recently ! anyway i found out that miley had got thinner abit as i watched her appearence as a guest aka vocal advicer on the current season of American Idol, whoa she does has the potential to judge the finalists' voices on AI huh? never thought so @@ yup youre right, ive under estimated her, cuz she has this rough voice and rough postures in her music videos -.- plus, one of the contestants sang her song "The Climb" and got knocked out instantly after the nationwide vote, while another one who has the resemblance vocals of hers got kicked off lately as well :O BUT Simon Cowell complimented her profession like OMG ?!

anyway her bf is freaking hot man ! an australian actor :O

gahhh!!!

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the girls behind are envious? LOL

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woots passionate !

-pearly-

032810, 0324

:D

Gagaga, just being random.

my daily schedule had messed up thoroughly by myself :O can anyone tell me what to do ?! but please allow me to stay relax at times. more and more people getting down lately? thats awful man, may everyone stay up in their cheerful mode, would they? :)

school was a crap, literally. ive been talking and talking in every single second, the teachers that really teaches are pn elly, pn norliza and pn faridah. i dont listen to faridah cuz shes soo boastful about her teaching skills, as if shes something to us :P i use the module paper and cover my face and talks to chin as usual during her classes xD

chin had brought lotsa booklets regarding universities in overseas, but we arent reading about the courses provided, but the pictures printed within :PP it was like soo fun to see the hot guys posing inside the booklets :P please mind my freaking nutness :D

nothing much to post anymore, this blog is soo dead xD

try listening to this song, not bad ;) Taio Cruz feat Ludacris - Break Your Heart
i downloaded the same song one after another until i finally got the right version one. phewww !

And by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY ! i'll try to behave well to avoid lecture sessions :P


i miss you like so damn much whenever youre not here with me, even its only for a second.
-pearly-

032610, 0149

miss you

where'd you go ?

i miss you so

it seems like its been forever

that youve been gone ..........

-pearly-

It shall all end today

It was a fine and cool morning, woke up at 7.06am or earlier, felt like going to the gym but somehow something stupid had stopped me from wanting to move on. so had planned to sleep back again but was prevented by the fact that i cant close my eyes anymore @@ oh shit what shall i do now, ive practically wasted the whole morning idling.

onlined awhile, felt envious of something. i had too much of emotions, why am i so helpless of myself. dont feel like writing any longer any more. remain silent, keeping everything into myself is the best of the best. being emo is just my genre of kind.

i take control of no one's life, including mine.


-pearly-

Random day

Today was another tuition day again, enjoyed ! it was chilling and comfortable there, but was freezing during the last period, poor zhi juin was becoming a snow woman LOL !

was freaked out by shien's blog @@ anyway really sorry for ffk her last minute, still waiting for the next chance out together though :)

felt like going to the gym tomorrow but, look at the time, 12.20 am already, wont be able to wake up early tomorrow anymore, can i? arghhh getting fatter and fatter already, what to do ?!

i'll give it a bet anyway, will go and jog a while if i can get outta bed in time. if not, just remain a piggie pose on the bed there will do.

*you seem to be my biggest threat, haih. ive thought too much.


-pearly-

stressed out

Been stress out these days. worn out maybe? i spotted the changes im having here. you'll find me LOLing everywhere on facebook comments i write, or just simply anything i post up there. hmm i dont know, this word just popped outta my head eventually whenever i write. oh and bsides that, ive been saying ILY all the time to him. but i know that, i am appreciating every single time of it as i got the chance to say this to someone i love. i just dont know what am i really upto now, i seemed to start to worry about my studies again. i scare i would not score well, especially in the real spm, im afraid of accounts, i need more practice. ive been wasting too much time these days, ive been thinking of lotsa stuffs lately too. cant i just manage the sections of my brain in folders nicely ? imma freak.

decided to blog now as i may not be online later at night.

watched a video on his page. i think it was okay, ive learnt alot from it, ive known that as time passes, we might find out that the person you think is imperfect to be your other half would turn out to make changes and to suit you better. love is divided into four different stages: codependent, counterdependent, independent and interdependent. i felt that the video was kinda freaky but it was getting better at the end of it.

you had been frightened by the video so instantly, its practically like a vision of the future of love, but who knows it wont happen in our love, its just some investigations found by some people out there. i dont think we'll change if true love exists between us. hmm you shouldnt be worrying much cuz i know its unnecessary, everything will turn out okay. though youve told me its yourself that youre worrying about. hmm this is REALLY freaking me out ZZZ

just think of he positive side, although i dont want you to hurt me :( god bless us, everything will be okay. damn its not the video that is scaring me, its you @@

and now another problem to be stressed of again. i need to dye my hair back to black in no time.

Gotta do my accounts homework now, i know i can do it. (hoping so)
HAIH !!!

-pearly-

lifeless :(

Today was nothing but another piggie day again cuz i slept at 6am yesterday LOL! so i woke up at 1something today.

but guess what ? i dreamt of him last night, i mean morning. well im still kinda clear about the content, hmm its kinda like, we're going to a tuition centre together, and then we sat on other people's seats (swt) but anyway was together. and this dream woke me up, and then started to miss ** :\ later saw his message, missed ** MORE~ and so later i listened to Cascada - Everytime we touch (sow version) and Taylor swift - Today was a fairytale, and missed ** EVEN MORE. wow this is rare and freaky LOL.

after woke up directly had lunch, cannot text anybody cuz im still outta credits X.X cant even get to online cuz mum never allow it now! OMG this is figgin killing me~ im still thinking of getting the reload card myself as i dont wanna spend dad's money on my hp anymore, cuz i'll eventually feel bad if i spend too much when he does the paying LOL.

so i practically suffered the entire day :( was lembik after lunch, slept AGAIN straight till dinner time at around 7something, thats what a typical pig does ok !

i feel uncomfortable for texting anybody, especially that particular one :( i even felt the anxiety till i suffered from a crazy stomach ache after dinner ! oh my gawd -.-

after the call i felt better and done some chores :D later, mp3 again ! and now i am here online, its 3am and my mum's asleep, me and my sis only get to use the PCs -.- cousin was up with the drama series too x)) ive got companies !

tomorrow will be another lifeless day again i bet :( hope that it will be better though, and i also hope that my mum will allow me to go out on this saturday PLEEEASSSEEE ! i hate to stay at home rotting around, without contacting anyone, i hope i could get more freedom, but somehow being 17 isnt that easy to get outta the study cage -.-

Had some thoughts to share here ~ some couples seemed like having troubles with their relationships, but im seriously grateful that i dont meet these problems at all, really am :D its fun to have a cheerful and relaxed partner than a really sensitive minded one. and mainly for me, is that true love doesnt require anything, its condition-free :D its just all about the internal feeling work-outs. LOL STAY STRONG, LOVERS! :P
ILY♥
-pearly-

0354, 031810

MP3 day ? :P

Today was neutral by the way, did nothing much BUT listened to my mp3! woo love it so much, it full filled my anticipations accumulated for months and now i can bring my hotties' musics around my house x)) what a crazy situation. anyway the highlight of the day was getting nagged by my mum x(

the reason of being nagged was super duper stupid, its about my bc AGAIN! WTF weih, i didnt mean to show my regret for not dropping it earlier and now im worrying of my pending request-confirmation of the dopping-off to the school -.- and i was really really mad when she blame everything all onto me, for not listening and to take her advice seriously. i was like hello, you never discouraged me to drop it anyway, you said it would be okay if i could manage to offer some time for practice, so i just took it as im in a effing stupid dilemma, and now you said it was ALL my fault for not dropping as what you said, well its just a part of what youve said. you said apparently EVERYTHING, this isnt fair at all. ive placed 100% of my thoughts into this decision making process but no one would just understand :'( but the most effing thing is, she compared me to her, WTF! i know im stupid but the subject has just made me went "F*CK!!!!!" #$&*%$*%@!!

tried to cool down in my room, meanwhile i cleaned up my closet, study table, floor and my bed. apparently everywhere in my room was dustless later then. its squeeky clean now ! weeee ~

dating my mp3 again after bath and also when was having dinner ;) never get to blog after that until its 1am.

guess what ?! i never sleep ! i browsed through the lagging fb page and watched Jennifer's Body after that ! boy it was an awesome movie ! meghan fox was horribly and seriously wild and hot :O was really a nice movie ;) lotsa kissing scenes too ! accompanied by my pillow and my Van houten chocolate bar. LOL the movie ended at around 3.45am, close to 4.

and now i am here, caught up blogging about yesterday's post and also today's ! the clock's gonna strike 6 and i gotta go to bed soon before dad and sis find out when they wake up soon ! i guess i shall end here, see yahh guys !!

p/s: i never get to send my good night message to you due to my irreloaded credits D; im sorry dear! iloveyou, good night!!! (i mean morning) :P


-pearly-

0537, 031710

Ice skates !

Woohoo ! today was the day my friend ~ time for some hang outs of the week ! today was a lil awkward as i woke up at 6am in the morning ! why ?! cuz my dad's the only one who's able to give me a ride to mcd in the morning, coincidence with my sis's uni classes today, so i gotta follow their time out at 7am (omg).

but guess what, i woke up sharply at 6 myself, gave a wake up call to someone special and crawled outta bed. boy i was too cool to make it in time, which included bath and hair blowing that would take lotsa time for me to be done with, except for having lunch at home, so i gotta spend a lil at mcd to fill my stomach then.

ate breakfast with him till 9am and rushed to the taxi stop when the taxi drivers refused to give u a ride due to the serious traffic jam out there, though, what a relief to see a bus which leading towards our destination, an old bus but the fair was really cheap LOL.

met up with the guys, yup theyre all guys as the girls had became pilots for the day -.- so am i fully protected ? :P we went from stations to stations, finally we reached there at around 10 something.

walked around solo, was looking for some things to buy but nah, the price tags were torturing me around so yeah, left for lunch at 12, and later then, ICE RINK here i come !

its been years since i had my last step on the slippery ice with the skates, and this time im skating with them: puikia, khai loong, jun hong, hong peng, zhen ye, jiann hau and lok. and oh boy it was crowded ! plus i bumped into numbers of familiar faces ;) was cool, and i remembered my so-called techniques of skating so yeah, was alright, fell 3 times with an awesome one on my ass LOL but what i was thinking is, no fall, no fun xD we skate around till 5 something and left as im having pain on my ankles. continued to walk around ~ met hui yee and gang outta rink :)

walked and waked aimlessly with puikia, junhong, khai loong and hong peng ~ later somehow we came out n idea of watching a movie. i wanna watch Green Zone which featured Matt Damon (the hottie) but the rest refused to watch so decided to go for Alice in wonderland!

ate dinner at Sakae, my first time~ was a cool place to hang out :D and its also my first time eating sushi with wasabi officially :O ahahah.

flew to tgv once finished eating. the movie was cool but somehow im still not eally into british speakings of the characters, plus the story line was completely different as the animated version so its not really fantasy, it would be extra awesome if it imitates the animated version like 95% :D

back by another taxi directly to bsd, crapped alot on the way back home as everyone came out with their very own theory of the present humanity @@ LOL. after getting outta the taxi and was about to call my mum i just found out that my hp was gone! i was like "WTF?!" and kept digging around my bag like mad. he then tried to call my hp and the taxi driver answered his calls and decided to make a turn back to hand the hp to me. OMG thats a kind hearted taxi driver man ! it was another first time, for losing my hp -.- what a total clumsy girl. omg youre my hero babe !! :D otherwise i will earn tons of lectures from ma mum AGAIN ! however im really fortunate to get it back as i turned on the sound of my hp right after the movie ended, it would be hopeless if its in total silent mode @@

went back home, settled with my mp3 stuff and went to bed. still in a lil fright mode at that time. today was super enjoyable with the gang, adventurous yet "trilling" at the end of the trip, man you guys are just awesome, especially you :D xoxo

woo how awesomely hot would it be if i couldactually skate like Kim Yu Na LOL! imma total dreamer ;))

-pearly-

0434,031710

It remained a history in our minds :(

Today was bored before tuition :( but after tuition, i went out, so was happy ! :D LOL ~

FINALLY !!! i got my mp3 LMAO xD had been in a dilemma but the discount had saved me ! with the price of Rm83, i wont get to sleep well tonight if i dont buy it, so i did it ! :P 2GB Philips is just enough, the look's not really attractive but yeah, was still hot for me :D

and later i got myself a red tank top ! woohoo ! its been on my shopping list for a very very long time! so yesh was soo high~ :P

Back at home, makan, and then online. i was busy extracting songs outta my cacat Kingston thumbdrive into my desktop to arrange them for their next trip into my mp3, so yeah opened out the dusty songs and photos' files :D

i saw lotsa old memories outta there, some of the japanese and korean songs made me think of the days of me being a kpop and jap/korean drama freak, sounds tracks were all there as well, remember the main theme song "Peach" from Hana Kimi? the drama which full of hotties !!! xD i also remembered myself being so busy loading one episode after one to catch every single episode of them before ppstream exists in my world :P its soo troublesome yet without and complains, i enjoyed my joyful times. I miss those happy memories :'D

later, i flipped through the photo albums one by one, i saw all the enjoyable times with my buddies ;) and nevertheless, YOU occupied most of the photos in the album. yeah of course, we used to be really really best friends, i really loved being together with you, but i dont know why, somehow things had changed, you had changed. we used to chat, laugh, crap, joke, get crazy together, but now, we remain strangers to each other. i dont think you'll even own any of these copy of pics either, cuz to you, i just remain a HISTORY, a chapter which was meant to be forgotten for good. i really really missed our friendship much, but i know, its impossible for us to become partners again ;'( i shall just wish you luck in your life, i wont hate you for the attitude you performed last time anymore, being strangers is somehow better than being enemies, right ? weirdos are just meant to be weirdos ...

finally ive finished managing the files, and i was blogging about my thoughts here. am going to sleep, super sure that im gonna enjoy till the max tomorrow, cuz im with him :)


iloveyou,
-pearly-

031510, 1230

Neutral

Today we got some sukan tara in school today, went to run and jump a lil, dont really wanna do these though cuz i knew a wont gain much marks :/ sports noobie . total boredom in school D;

the skating plan was a mess LOL but finally its settled after a discussion with the buddies .

honestly i seriously hate having 3 tuitions, i cant really take it. after back from school its already 2pm and after lunch its 2.30pm, after bath (my bath is 1hour long btw) its already 3.30pm and i got no time for nap, dammit i gotta focus and not to feel tired during tuition, such a failure man -.- After back at home its already 10pm, though, i know my tuition schedule is the nothing compared to my friends who literally took tuitions of ALL subjects in DIFFERENT places EVERYDAY :O pro ! i must not complain much about mine anymore, tahan!

Im still waiting for the confirmation from the teacher of my subject drop-off, really praying hard for it to success !! otherwise i gotta take bc AGAIN, anti-bc ! :X (sorry bc pros)

FINALLY !! i get to go for an exercise tomorrow, maybe solo :( rawr its ok just get use to it will do. and what time is it now? 1.50am @@ if i cant take my tiredness i shall fall back to my pillow and continue to dream on ~


Ive realised, that youve been occupying the spaces in my heart, mind, and soul day by day...
whatever you feel, i may get your feelings too (as usual :P)
i just feel that we are one now
its good that its only your tiredness youre suffering from
cuz im afraid that its my unwell concern for you, just in case
its hard to pull my emotions to back to their actual tracks when they follows yours
is it some kind of magic or what ?
anyway its cool to see that your alright
remember to stay happy always
it really adorable to see your smile everyday :D
and not the tense look :{
LOL, ILY .
PC♥

-pearly-
now im thinking two, is better than one ~

031310, 0211

studies are smashing my brain into pieces

Today was the results day. ex-seniors came to take their results slips (duh), but its aint easy as it seems. from the informations obtained, i guess no one got straight A+ for this spm (not sure) isnt it? and unexpected grades existed as well. gosh i can see how hard it is to score now as the education department had changed their system to a higher standard ? hmm i am so pressured.

Talking about the total subjects im taking for this year, its suppose to be 10 but it turned up to be 11 cuz im interested in taking accounts due to the awesome teachings and understandings by my tutor. but the biggest prob is, should i drop bc instead ?!

i may get A for bc in UPSR :X but i only got B in PMR :( what more to say for SPM? ive tried my very best but i just couldnt get to dig out some time for chinese novels and books' readings, well of course to kill my awful grammar mistakes. ive been thinking about dropping or taking for a very very very very very long time, until i just known that some of my awesomely smart ex-seniors got B in their bc :( aww gawwsh i got the tension now !!!

OK ! i got a news to announce here :P imma DROP MY BC !!! and yes its the last decision ive made for myself, imma focus on 10 and score my best, bc is bugging me like helll x(

okay so now, talking about the field im going into after ending my high school ? of course im aiming for the best, but i know i can hardly control myself, i wont be able to make it that far. though its still hard to say, i may prove something unusual :O just maybe, seriously cant wait for my own good news :( but can i really make it? well its all starting from the effort im loading in now.

people seldom trust me when i promised that i can make it, but its really aint easy to change myself to a seriously disciplined type, to be frankly is NO ONE will trust me for what i promised. i know, its sad, but will miracles fall upon me ? i never care what people think about me, imma suffer myself for out what im aiming for, nop matter how high are my expectations or goals, i will always be the only one who give myself the strength, confidence and trust. i dont live in people's shoes, ive got the confident to prove them wrong, but i gotta really tie myself up !

wow, poor me, being the only one who trusts myself :P anyway im always waiting for the good news from time to time, i wont get anymore chance when the typical SPM arises before my eyes !!!!!

" And i dont want the world to see me, cuz i dont think that they'd understand,
when everythings made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am. " - Iris, goo goo dolls



Aww yeah, before i end my post, i just thought of something idiot happened to me this morning in school. we were ordered by pn low to proceed to the library as our bio period is idle -.- and pn low were in an awful bad mood, fyi shes actually marking my class's chem paper (aww shit @#&%$*@!)

she warned that people who talked gotta become some so-called "Mata" which we can only sit when we caught others that talked -.- . just then when i was about to finish up my homeworks i found out that my pencil case has disappeared, so ive done some stupid mouth and hand signals with yan rou asking her is she sees it.

suddenly !! pn low stood up and said "you two girls stand up, caught people who talks before you can sit down, " wtf ?! hello i never let out a sound k -.- so ive done my work by standing, i never catch others, so kind~ haih poor me, again ! and the worst part is, we stood up in front of the form 2M juniors WTF!!! so humiliating man ZZZ !!!

omg pn low's been a monster when she marks our chem's paper, horrifying sial ! im soo dead, shit i should wear a mask during chem period X.X


-pearly-

OLA !!

Wakakakakaka ..... finally im alive !! been liveless during exams period, add maths and chemistry are killing me ! fml man :X omg i wont dare to face pn low in the future @@

ive been sleeping at 1am these days, stayed up till 3am the day before add maths, bio and chem, noob sial -.- i'll make it earlier next time. today i had my afternoon nap from 3pm till 7pm, pro !

so theres nothing much about school, seems like everyone has became smarter :P i gotta catch up with the rest as well. teehee~ so its after exams, theyre some plans i gotta work out during the hols :D ;

1. hang outing with buddies
2. shopping with szbo !
3. hang out with ****** :P
4. GYM!!!
5. hula hooop !!!
6. shorts !!!

gagagagaga, been popping outta my mind during exams, i do love to think about enjoyment while dating books huh ?!

its crazy that ive been having a huge appetide these days D; is it exams or growth or my pathway of being a fat ass ?! :O im coming treadmillllllll.....

anyway there's a pbsm camp and im not going for it cuz i had not much time to spend next week, so awaits the next time :P

someone has been looking down upon himself, no worries, youll get over with this prob eventually, always support you !!!

btw tomorrow is the SPM results day !!! whoa so exited to hear about the seniors' news xD oh so does this means theyre storming bsd 1 tomorrow? haha looking forward for all the good news ;)) fighting !!

its damn stupid that i gotta finish up my homeworks if not pn chan will deduct my bc papers' marks, NOOOOO !

k shall stop here for tonight, will blog during hols :P take cares all !


iloveyou;
-pearly-